Navigating Anxiety and Overwhelm At Big Events: Weddings & Family Reunions
Written by Katy Levine and Morgan Levine
Summer is nearly upon us and the season offers a unique time of year for gathering, being in community, and celebration. The weather is finally nice enough to spend time outdoors with loved ones, friends, and new acquaintances. And while these gatherings can be filled with joy, connection, and revelry, for some, crowds and large-group events stir up feelings of unease, loneliness, and fear.
Anxiety sends a pretty powerful message. Something isn’t safe, I’m not ok, I am scared. Social anxiety, especially in larger events, can ramp up and cause distress in a time when we are “supposed” to be having fun. It can be frustrating when anxiety is tangled up with obligation, even when other parts of us are looking forward to seeing people or celebrating.
It’s normal for one-off events to drum up extra anxiety, nervousness, and insecurity. While everyone’s system responds differently, here are some strategies from IFS-Informed EMDR therapists for dealing with anxiety and feelings of overwhelm before and during events and gatherings.
Get to know the anxiety You might be feeling anxiety in the days, weeks, and even months leading up to an event. This can look like constantly thinking about the event or fixating on parts of the event like what you’ll wear or what could go wrong. Anxiety is also often an experience in our bodies. Can you take the time to drop into your body and recognize where the anxiety is showing up for you? Extra tension in your shoulders? A knot in your stomach? Before pushing those sensations away, try to stay with it. Breathe and take notice of what it feels like. How does placing a hand or blanket in that place shift the sensation? What does the anxiety want you to know?
Acknowledging the feeling is powerful! Once you have more information about the anxiety, you might have better insight about your needs before, during, and after the event.
Self-care Anxiety is painful. If you sprain an ankle, the pain is a signal that you need to take care of it. You would adjust how you walk, ice it, and rest it. Stress or anxiety is the same as physical pain; it’s a signal that to take even more care of ourselves and our parts. In the time leading up to an event, make sure you are getting rest, exercise, and eating nourishing foods. You might also need extra time alone with an enjoyable activity if social situations drain your battery. Try going for an extra walk, spend time listening to calming or empowering music, or reading. If you need bonus time spent with supportive friends to remind your system of safe connection, take the time to arrange it.
Practice anchoring Practice your favorite ways of anchoring (also known as grounding) in the weeks and days before the event. Anchoring is anything that increases your presence. It can be an activity you enjoy, breathwork, looking at a flower, smelling your favorite scent, using a mantra listening to nature sounds, or anything that brings you back to this moment. You can write a list of options on your phone to remind you of things you can do when you notice anxiety. Including these practices into your routine well before the day of an event will make it easier to access those techniques during the event. Check out more options, here.
Know your options and limits Make a plan ahead of the event for how long you will stay, when you might be able to take a step outside or to yourself, and what kind of limits feel comfortable around food, conversation, and even money spent (on gifts, etc.). Just because the party might stretch into all hours of the night does not mean you have to stay until the tables are cleared. Decide what feels doable before the event and practice how you will let others know you are leaving.
The buddy system It’s a lot harder to take on the challenge of going to an anxiety-inducing event without support. Whether it be a spouse, partner, friend, or family member, reach out to someone who will be supportive of your anxiety and has the capacity to help. It creates more safety knowing that someone has got your back and you’re not alone in handling the big day.
The summer and summer events can be an exciting time, but it can also be a stressful time. We encourage you to try some of the techniques we’ve shared here and see if they help. If you notice the anxiety feels unmanageable still, you’re not alone and often a good therapist can help you understand more about what’s driving your anxiety and find even more strategies for taking care of it then what we’ve listed here.
Authorship: This blog was written by Katy Levine, LMSW and Morgan Levine, LCSW. Katy Levine (pre-licensed in PA, MD, and DC, and a supervisee in training in VA) specializes in IFS-informed EMDR and psychodynamic, attachment-informed therapy working with adults experiencing anxiety, depression, perfectionist tendencies, CPTSD, and life changes. Morgan Levine (licensed in MD, DC, VA, PA, CO, and FL) specializes in using EMDR, IFS-informed EMDR, and a variety of other modalities in her work with adults who experience anxiety, depression, PTSD, ADHD, obsessions and compulsions, relationship issues, CPTSD, use of substances or people, attachment wounds, and specific trauma events.
*Disclaimer: The information in this blog is provided for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health care nor a recommendation or endorsement for any particular treatment plan, organization, provider, professional service, or product. The information may change without notice. No claims, promises, or guarantees are made about the completeness, accuracy, currency, content or quality of information linked. You assume all responsibility and risk for any use of the information.
IFS EMDR Therapy Group is an outpatient therapy group founded by Morgan Levine. We specialize in helping adults struggling with the effects of living in dysfunctional systems move toward healing and wholeness. We provide therapy to address symptoms such as anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, grief, obsessive and compulsive thoughts and behaviors including but not limited to using work, perfectionism, substances, relationships, food, etc. We offer ongoing support as well as EMDR intensives; both of which are informed by IFS, EMDR, DBT, CBT, Polyvagal Theory, trauma-informed yoga, attachment, and other recovery principles. Our therapists work virtually with clients living throughout Maryland, Washington D.C., Virginia, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Colorado and Florida. Morgan Levine also provides trauma-informed consultation to therapists worldwide. Connect with us through our website at https://ifsemdrtherapy.com/contact-us.
Keywords: Social anxiety, Weddings, Family Reunions, mental health, anxiety management
