Understanding the Window of Tolerance: A Guide to Regulating and Healing
A foundational element of how we support clients in their path toward healing is to witness and identify patterns of dysregulation, as well as options for regulation. This helps to empower clients with information to help them exist more and more within their window of tolerance.
What is the window of tolerance? Keep reading to explore what it is, what it means for your system, and how to make sense of your emotional responses to stress, trauma, and more.
Photo by Marcos Paulo Prado on Unsplash
What Is the Window of Tolerance?
The Window of Tolerance is a term coined by Dr. Dan Siegel, a psychiatrist and expert in neurobiology. It refers to the optimal zone of arousal, or level of sensitivity, where we are able to function and respond to the demands of everyday life in a balanced way. When we're within this window, we can think clearly, reflect, make decisions confidently, and engage socially.
Hyperarousal and hypoarousal are on the other ends of the window of tolerance. Keep reading to examine these states in more detail.
When we exist in our window of tolerance, our nervous system is regulated and balanced. That does not mean we only feel “positive” emotions or feel nothing - rather that we are emotionally present enough to handle the ups and downs without being overwhelmed or shutting down.
When in your window of tolerance, you might feel:
Balanced
Present
Open
Curious
Clear-headed
Engaged socially
Empathetic
Confident acknowledging your boundaries
Able to think and feel at the same time
Your body might experience:
Quality sleep
Optimal digestion
Better immune system response
Energetic but not wired
Improved circulation
Steady heart rate
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What Happens Outside the Window?
When we move outside our window of tolerance, our nervous system can shift into one of two survival modes:
Hyperarousal (Fight or Flight)
This is when we become overly activated or anxious.Hypoarousal (Freeze or Shutdown)
This is when our system slows and we begin to shut down emotionally or physically.
We are wired to become hyperaroused or hypoaroused because these are states that can help with survival at imminent risk. If you are curious about this, we recommend watching a documentary on animals in the wild to see the natural response to danger in their environment. Some animals may leap to run or fight back - this is hyperarousal. Other animals may collapse, get small, or hide in the face of danger - this is hypoarousal. Understanding that these states are normal and important for temporary danger is key. However, what can be challenging is when we are stuck in these states after the danger is gone.
To learn more about these states and the nervous system’s role in mental health, click here.
Both states are natural responses to stress and danger. They're part of how our nervous system protects us. But when these responses become chronic or are triggered by everyday events, they can interfere with daily life.
Photo by Ryan Arnst on Unsplash
Trauma and the Window of Tolerance
For individuals with a history of trauma, the window of tolerance can be narrower. This means it may take less stress or activation to push someone into hyper- or hypoarousal. Understanding trauma and its impact on our neurobiology is an important component of learning to help increase our window of tolerance.
Trauma is not just what happened to you; trauma is the effects or stored responses in your body from what did or did not happen for you. Many people grew up in dysfunctional family systems, whether that means being adults who experienced childhood physical or sexual abuse, emotional or physical neglect, or the adults in your childhood experienced addiction or mental health challenges - these childhood experiences effect us into adulthood and one effect is is having a narrower window of tolerance.
You are not broken or damaged for having a harder time staying in a window of tolerance. Our systems are designed to strive for survival - which sometimes means keeping our defenses going.
Having a trauma history does not prohibit from expanding the window of tolerance. Your system is equally wired to adapt and heal. With support, curiosity, and exploring options in a safe container, we can learn how to use our internal and external resources to spend more time in our window of tolerance and expand the zone of regulation.
Expanding Your Window of Tolerance
Humans experience shifts from regulation to dysregulation as part of survival. However, we also have the ability to support our nervous system back into a regulated state, or within our window of tolerance. There are a multitude of ways to ground, re-center, and regulate ourselves. A therapist can help you identify your unique signs of dysregulation and regulation. That knowledge then helps build out your system’s toolkit that helps bring you back into your window.
This concept and practice helps support our nervous system, mental health, and neurobiology work together to move toward regulation and ease. The practice of noticing what helps and hurts us stay in our window of tolerance is a key aspect of healing.
Here are just a few techniques for expanding your window of tolerance:
Grounding with your senses - Practice using all five senses (touch, taste, sight, hearing, and smell) to notice something soothing. This could be sipping on peppermint tea, resting under a fuzzy blanket, listening to your favorite song, or looking at a picture of a favorite vacation spot. Stop and notice what it’s like to let your system rest with that. Name how it feels to take it in e.g., “I feel calmer,” “I feel at ease,” or “This is soothing.”
Mindful movement - Depending on if you are in hyper or hypoarousal, different movements can help our system shift back into a state of balance. If feeling hyperaroused (activated, anxious), try “shaking out the stress” by shaking your limbs. If feeling hypoaroused (shut down, numb), try lightly squeezing your forearms and noticing the sensations. Yoga, stretching, walking, and other gentle exercise can help restore our system.
Lean into routine - Our nervous systems like predictability. Work on establishing nourishing routines such as an herbal tea before bed, a stretching break during lunch, and other ways of providing small moments of ease into your day. Adding this on top of a consistent sleep routine is key.
Connect with others - Supportive relationships are some of the most powerful signs that we are safe. Reach out to your network for support if you have loving options. If you need more support, seek out a therapist, a therapy group, or new community space to co-regulate in the presence of others.
Understanding your nervous system is not about “fixing” yourself—it’s about learning how to respond with compassion and skill when your body signals distress. With the right tools and support, your window can expand. You can build more space for calm, connection, and clarity—even in stressful moments.
The window of tolerance is a valuable framework for understanding why you might feel anxious, numb, or overwhelmed—and, more importantly, how to return to a place of balance and resilience.
Tuning into your window of tolerance is a part of the therapy models we practice, including EMDR and IFS. Both models help expand the window of tolerance and facilitate trauma processing within the window of tolerance. Learn more about IFS and EMDR here.
More Reading:
How Your Nervous System Influences Your Mental Health
How We Regulate: Using Polyvagal Theory and Somatic Experiencing
Is A Therapy Intensive Right For You? Here’s What to Expect
Authorship: This blog was written by Katy Levine, LMSW. Katy (licensed in Washington, D.C., MD, VA, & PA), focuses on supporting clients with complex trauma history, attachment wounding, anxiety, and perfectionism, using IFS-informed EMDR.
Disclaimer: The information in this blog is provided for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health care nor a recommendation or endorsement for any particular treatment plan, organization, provider, professional service, or product. The information may change without notice. No claims, promises, or guarantees are made about the completeness, accuracy, currency, content or quality of information linked. You assume all responsibility and risk for any use of the information.
IFS EMDR Therapy Group is an outpatient therapy group founded by Morgan Levine. We specialize in helping adults struggling with the effects of living in dysfunctional systems move toward healing and wholeness. We provide therapy to address symptoms such as anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, grief, obsessive and compulsive thoughts and behaviors including but not limited to using work, perfectionism, substances, relationships, food, etc. We offer ongoing support as well as EMDR intensives; both of which are informed by IFS, EMDR, DBT, CBT, Polyvagal Theory, trauma-informed yoga, attachment, and other recovery principles. Our therapists work virtually with clients living throughout Maryland, Washington D.C., Virginia, Pennsylvania, Colorado and Florida. Morgan Levine also provides trauma-informed consultation to therapists worldwide.
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