Navigating Food and Family of Origin during the Holidays: A Compassionate Approach
With the holiday season underway here in the United States, the complex interplay between our relationship with food, the influence of family of origin, and the protectors within us can become more pronounced. Building upon our previous discussions about boundaries, Internal Family Systems (IFS), and the dynamics of food and body image, this blog will explore the challenges that the holidays can bring and offer practical suggestions for coping with compassion.
Family of Origin and Protectors
Our family of origin plays a significant role in shaping our beliefs and behaviors around food. These beliefs can lead to the emergence of protectors within us, who aim to manage many things including the emotional baggage associated with family dynamics.
During the holidays, these protectors may be more prominent. Whether it's the perfectionist, the caretaker, the skeptic, the rebel, or some other part you’ve identified, our parts can become more active when confronted with family gatherings, societal expectations, and the central role of food in holiday celebrations.
Compassion as the Key
1. **Self-Compassion:** The cornerstone of navigating food and family of origin during the holidays is self-compassion. Begin by acknowledging the protectors that may emerge and understanding their intentions. Remember that these parts are attempting to protect you, even if their methods are not always helpful.
2. **Release Perfectionism:** If you have a perfectionist protector, would it be willing to recognize that the holiday season doesn't need to be perfect? Are there other parts of you that might be willing to help you allow yourself to embrace the imperfections and find joy in the authenticity of the moment?
3. **Focus on Connection:** Shift the focus from food to meaningful connections with loved ones whether that is blood family or chosen family. Engage in conversations, share stories, and strengthen your emotional bonds, as these are the true essence of the holidays.
4. **Plan for Support:** If you anticipate that certain family dynamics will be particularly challenging, have a support plan in place. Identify a trusted friend, support group, or therapist with whom you can connect during or after gatherings to process your emotions.
5. **Alternative Celebrations:** Explore alternative ways to celebrate that don't center around food. Engage in activities like board games, decorating, taking a beautiful hike, or volunteering as a family, fostering a sense of togetherness that isn't solely reliant on food.
6. **Mindful Eating:** If you're worried about overindulging, practice mindful eating. Pay attention to your body's hunger cues, savor each bite, and choose foods that truly bring you joy.
7. **Boundaries and Limits:** Remember the concept of boundaries and limits. It's perfectly okay to set boundaries with family members or protectors who may push your limits during the holidays.
Conclusion
Navigating the holidays when it comes to food, family dynamics, and protectors can be challenging, but it's a journey that can be filled with growth and self-discovery. By approaching this season with self-compassion, focusing on the true essence of the holidays, and having a support plan in place, you can navigate the complexities with grace and authenticity. Your relationship with food and your family of origin is a part of your unique journey, and embracing it with compassion and understanding can lead to a more fulfilling and enriching holiday experience.
Keywords: Thanksgiving, Food and Body Issues, Holiday Challenges, Family of Origin, Self-compassion, Mindful Eating, Boundaries, Family Dynamics
*Disclaimer: The information in this blog is provided for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health care nor a recommendation or endorsement for any particular treatment plan, organization, provider, professional service, or product. The information may change without notice. No claims, promises, or guarantees are made about the completeness, accuracy, currency, content or quality of information linked. You assume all responsibility and risk for any use of the information.
IFS EMDR Therapy Group is an outpatient therapy group founded by Morgan Levine. We specialize in helping adults struggling with the effects of living in dysfunctional systems move toward healing and wholeness. We provide therapy to address symptoms such as anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, grief, obsessive and compulsive thoughts and behaviors including but not limited to using work, perfectionism, substances, relationships, food, etc. We offer ongoing support as well as EMDR intensives; both of which are informed by IFS, EMDR, DBT, CBT, Polyvagal Theory, trauma-informed yoga, attachment, and other recovery principles. Our therapists work virtually with clients living throughout Maryland, Washington D.C., Virginia, Pennsylvania, Georgia, and Florida. Morgan Levine also provides trauma-informed consultation to therapists worldwide. Connect with us through our website at https://ifsemdrtherapy.com/contact-us.
