What is Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy?
Have you ever felt torn between two feelings, thoughts or desires? Like a part of you is longing to change something, while another part of you is fearful of what might happen if you do? Or perhaps you have moments of feeling small and overwhelmed, but also feel frustrated at yourself for feeling that way?
That’s where Internal Family Systems (IFS) comes in.
At our practice, we’ve found that IFS is one of the most transformative and compassionate ways to help clients heal from the past and find internal peace. Here is a breakdown of what IFS is and how it can help you.
What is Internal Family Systems?
Developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz, IFS is an evidence-based model of therapy based on the idea that the mind is not one single unit, but a "system" of different parts.
In the lens of the model, everyone has parts. These parts have their own roles, functions, and experiences that make up a system. In trauma or a distressing event, our parts often take on extreme roles to protect us from pain.
Dr. Schwartz developed the model after extensive work and training in family therapy. He realized that as individuals talked about their internal experiences, it sounded similar to different family members expressing unique perspectives. Rather than approaching these experiences solely with singularity, he started to shift his approach to individual therapy keeping family-like dynamics in mind.
Today, IFS is a popular model that is non-pathologizing, incorporates the body and spirituality, and trusts the internal wisdom of every individual.
How Does Internal Family Systems Work?
The IFS model organizes parts into three categories:
Managers: These are the proactive parts that keep you functional and "in control." They handle your schedule, make sure you look good to others, and try to prevent any emotional pain from surfacing while you go about daily life.
Exiles: These are the parts that carry the weight of what happened (or didn’t happen) to you. This might be feelings of worthlessness, terror, or abandonment. Managers work very hard to keep these parts pushed down (exiled) so you don't have to feel their overwhelming pain.
Firefighters: When pain or any other unwanted feeling shows up, firefighters swoop in to "put out the fire" by any means necessary. This often looks like impulsive behaviors, such as binge eating, substance use, rage, or extreme dissociation.
While we all have parts, IFS also proposes that everyone has a core essence, called “Self or Self Energy.”
Self is not a part—it is the true root of your spirit. IFS proposes that as we navigate life, we learn to operate less in our truest form, and more from our parts that became more culturally accepted or that tried to prevent pain. Self never goes away—parts just learn to take over.
Part of the IFS process is to find a way back to Self.
When you are "in Self," you embody what we call the 8 Cs:
Curiosity
Calm
Clarity
Compassion
Confidence
Creativity
Courage
Connectedness
What do you with parts and Self?
In IFS therapy, we don't try to get rid of your parts. Instead, we help you (and your Self energy) get to know them. We listen to their fears, express gratitude for how they've tried to protect you, and eventually help them release the burdens they’ve been carrying since the trauma occurred.
Why IFS Works for Trauma
Photo by Ana Tavares on Unsplash
Trauma lives in the body. Unlike traditional talk therapy, IFS incorporates the body into the insight process. IFS also goes beyond talking about the past, it helps you have a new experience with the past. By using Self, and the therapist, parts are seen, heard, and given resources in ways that they didn’t get when something bad was happening. IFS is relational, meaning it values the connection between the client and the therapist, but also the client’s relationship to themselves (and their parts).
IFS is powerful for trauma because:
It reduces shame: You realize you aren't "broken"; you just have parts that are doing their best to keep you safe.
It’s non-pathologizing: We don't see symptoms as "disorders” or “maladaptive,” but as protective strategies that were once necessary for survival.
It creates internal safety: By approaching your most painful memories with compassion rather than fear, you can heal at a pace that feels safe for your nervous system.
What is IFS Therapy Like?
IFS therapy sessions offer space to process distress that’s happening now, what happened to you in your past, or even what happened to your family lineage and how it all lives in your system in the present.
IFS sessions shift from just talking about issues and instead lean into gentle, inward dialogue with parts. This might start by noticing a feeling, sensation, or image that goes along with what you’re noticing. With the help of the therapist, the approach is to witness parts that might have gone unnoticed or shut out of the conversation.
Instead of trying to "fix" or push away these difficult emotions, we get to know them with curiosity, often discovering that even your most painful habits are actually parts trying their best to keep you safe. By listening to their stories and offering them the compassion (Self Energy) they’ve been missing, we can begin to heal the old wounds they protect, allowing for more peace and safety.
IFS therapy sessions may or may not include distinct parts language. It’s up to you and the therapist about what feels right in your system. A session might focus on one part or multiple parts. The goal in every IFS therapy session is to access a little bit more Self energy, building more connection between Self and the parts. This in turn helps us to find more safety in connection in the outside world.
Healing from trauma isn't about becoming a new version of yourself. In IFS therapy, you gently enhance your relationship to yourself, unburden parts that are stuck in the past, and build trust that your true Self can help lead the way.
Interested in getting started with IFS therapy?
If you’re considering IFS, EMDR, or a combination of the two and want to know which approach might be a good fit, feel free to reach out or schedule a consultation here.
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Ready for deeper healing?
If you’ve resonated with this post, you may be a good fit for IFS-informed EMDR therapy designed for people who feel stuck in therapy.
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About the Author: Katy Levine, LCSW, is a trauma therapist licensed in Washington, D.C., Maryland, Virginia, and Pennsylvania. She focuses on supporting women with complex trauma history, attachment wounding, anxiety, and perfectionism, using IFS-informed EMDR. Katy sees ongoing clients virtually and offers limited intensives to established clients in Pennsylvania.
Disclaimer: The information in this blog is provided for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health care nor a recommendation or endorsement for any particular treatment plan, organization, provider, professional service, or product. The information may change without notice. No claims, promises, or guarantees are made about the completeness, accuracy, currency, content or quality of information linked. You assume all responsibility and risk for any use of the information.
IFS EMDR Therapy Group is an outpatient therapy group founded by Morgan Levine. We specialize in IFS-Informed EMDR to help adults struggling with the effects of living in dysfunctional systems move toward healing and wholeness. Our therapists work virtually with clients living throughout Maryland, Washington D.C., Virginia, Pennsylvania, Colorado and Florida. Morgan Levine also provides consultation to therapists worldwide.
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