EMDR Therapy for Grief

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is an evidence based psychotherapy technique developed by Francine Shapiro that helps people process past memories, current triggers, and future fears. The most known feature of emdR is the use of bilateral stimulation, usually eye movements, to help people reprocess distressing experiences and reduce the emotional intensity. EMDR also aims to connect people with more positive, adaptive beliefs. EMDR is particularly effective for individuals who are experiencing stuck grief. EMDR is a good treatment option for people with grief that feels outsized or prolonged.

The grieving process is a psychological and emotional experience that touches every aspect of our lives. Grief is a complex response to a significant loss, often accompanied by a range of emotions, thoughts, and physical sensations. It not only comes a the loss of a person we love but also at the loss of a job, relationship, hopes, dreams, or looking back to our childhood and seeing the things we didn’t get. Grief is a natural process that occurs as we come to terms with the absence of someone or something that holds deep meaning in our lives. The impact of grief is not limited to just our emotions; it extends to our cognitive functioning and physical well-being as well.

When it comes to navigating the journey of grief, EMDR therapy offers a range of significant benefits that can foster healing, resilience, and a renewed sense of emotional well-being.

  • Accelerated Healing: EMDR expedites the healing process by directly addressing the emotional, cognitive, and somatically stored pain associated with loss.

  • Emotional Distress Reduction: EMDR reduces the intensity of grief-related distress, facilitating emotional relief.

  • Enhanced Coping: Through EMDR, individuals develop effective coping strategies for managing grief triggers and challenges.

  • Resilience Building: EMDR promotes emotional resilience by systematically processing grief and its impacts.

  • Adaptive Adjustment: EMDR aids in reframing memories and experiences, aiding in the positive adaptation to life in the present.

  • Honoring Memories: EMDR helps transform grief into a way to honor and remember loved ones or the past in a peaceful manner.

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Other EMDR FAQs

  • Yes! Research shows that online EMDR can be just as effective as in-person sessions. 

    Providers may spend more time on grounding techniques because they're less able to support the process remotely. However, many of our clients appreciate the convenience and comfort of doing their EMDR sessions from home.

    We offer EMDR virtually to clients located in Washington D.C., Maryland, Virginia, Pennsylvania, Colorado, and Florida.

  • The cost of EMDR therapy will vary depending on the provider, amount of sessions, and length of the sessions.  EMDR therapy requires exetnsive specialized training and ongoing consultation. Therefore, this can make EMDR a bit more pricey per hour than general talk therapy. However, EMDR is meant to be a time-limited, change therapy whereas some forms of talk therapy can be done indefinitely.

    Our therapists fees are $195-$325 per hour. We typically see clients in a traditional weekly format for 60-90 minutes over 1-3 years or in an intensive format for a series of days. You can click here to see more about each therapists’ fees.

    EMDR is typically covered by most private insurance companies.  This means that you can potentially save hundreds on your cost of treatment if you have out-of-network insurance benefits. You can click here to learn more about using your insurance. 

  • First, find a qualified EMDR therapist with whom you feel comfortable. A qualified EMDR therapist should have completed an EMDR Basic Training program, which includes a minimum of 20 hours of didactic instruction and 20 hours of supervised practice. As of December 30, 2024, our entire team is EMDR Basic Trained, and some members are also EMDR Certified and EMDR Consultants. You can verify a therapist's EMDR training by checking their credentials or by contacting the EMDR International Association (EMDRIA).

    During your first EMDR session, your therapist will conduct an assessment to determine whether EMDR therapy is the appropriate treatment for you. This assessment will include a review of your medical history, current symptoms, and any past trauma. Your therapist may also explain the eight phases of EMDR therapy in detail and how they will be utilized throughout your sessions. You can read more about these phases in the above section.

    Once the assessment is complete, you and your therapist will develop a treatment plan tailored to your specific needs and goals. This plan will outline the particular issues to be addressed and the objectives of your therapy.

    Throughout the treatment process, you will work with your therapist to build grounding techniques and process past traumatic events using bilateral stimulation, which may include eye movements, tapping, or auditory sounds. Your therapist will guide you through the eight phases of EMDR therapy, which encompass history taking and treatment planning, preparation, assessment, desensitization, installation, body scan, closure, and reevaluation over multiple sessions.

    If EMDR takes longer than expected to start seeing positive effects from the sessions, don’t be concerned. Everyone responds differently to EMDR therapy, so another person’s timeline may not match your own.

  • We think about therapy often for our mind, but our mind is only one part of our nervous system. We have a whole body that stores information - our body and mind together = our nervous system.

    The information stored in our nervous system can include memories, thoughts, feeling, sensations, patterns of perceiving danger and protecting ourselves, etc. Sometimes this information gets stuck and we need help digesting it - that’s what EMDR helps with.

    Imagine you have a backpack full of rocks some are heavy rocks, and others are light and shiney. These heavy rocks represent all the tough stuff you've been through that’s stored in your nervous system, like scary memories, sad feelings, tension, etc. EMDR therapy helps you unpack the heavy rocks and sort through them, so they don't feel stuck in the same patterns anymore.

  • Research in support of EMDR effectiveness:

    • Twenty-four randomized controlled trials support the positive effects of EMDR therapy in the treatment of emotional trauma and other adverse life experiences relevant to clinical practice. 

    • Seven of 10 studies reported EMDR therapy to be more rapid and/or more effective than trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy. 

    • Twelve randomized studies of the eye movement component noted rapid decreases in negative emotions and/or vividness of disturbing images, with an additional 8 reporting a variety of other memory effects. 

    • Numerous other evaluations document that EMDR therapy provides relief from a variety of somatic complaints. 

    • Research and frequently asked questions about EMDR

How does EMDR Work? - The 8 Phases of EMDR

  • In Phase 1, you and your therapist begin to get to know each other and build a relationship. This is by far the most important part of EMDR. Your therapist will also get to know your past, present, and hopes for the future. You will also get to know your patterns, family history, and goals. During this phase you will also complete activities to determine your current coping strategies.

  • During phase 2, you will work with your therapist to identify and practice coping skills and resources to make sure you are prepared to properly handle any stress that may arise from reprocessing a traumatic event or difficult situation. Our team uses both traditional EMDR resourcing as well as somatic and sensory resources informed by Polyvagal Theory and Somatic Experiencing.

  • During this phase you create a target plan with your therapist. This is a list of past, present, and future situations that have lead to your negative patterns. The amount of targets identified varies by person and treatment goals.

    Some may targets might be single events. For instance a car accident. Other targets might be feelings such as fear or sadness but there is not one exact memory attached to it but there may be patterns from childhood that attach to these feelings. This target plan will be longer athough the process will be largely the same.

  • During this phase we will use sets of BLS (bilateral stimulation) or eye movements to reprocess the target.

    Bilateral Stimulation or Eye Movement:

    During EMDR therapy, you might move your eyes back and forth while thinking about the tough stuff. Eye Movements are a kind of bilateral stimulation which just means moving from one side to the other. There are lots of ways to generate side to side movement of the eyes. You can look at dots on a screen, listen to different sounds, color with a crayon or marker in one hand and then the other, move your feet and arms one at a time, and many other options. This side to side stimulation helps your body digest information in a different way.

    During this phase, you will choose what form of bilateral movement you want to do or you can pick to do a few options at once.

    Desensitization:

    This means making something less sensitive or less upsetting. The bilateral movement stimulates both sides of the brain - this kind of bilatera stimulation has proven to reduce stress and reactivity from targets. Overall this phase helps you become less scared or upset about the tough stuff you've been through or the things that scare you now or in the future.

    Reprocessing:

    Imagine taking an old picture and making it look brighter and clearer. That's what reprocessing does to your memories during EMDR therapy. It helps you see things in a new light or to widen your perspective. You will be asked to rate the disturbance level of a memory from 0-10. We know the memory has been reprocessed after the disturbance level gets to a 1 or 0.

  • Once you feel the disturbance when thinking of the target is at a 1 or 0, we will install the positive cognition related to the target. You will use BLS to further enhance this positive belief and positive feelings in phase 5.

  • In phase 6, we do a body scan to check for any residual tension. If there any uncomfortable physical sensations that arise when thinking about the target, we will continue to use BLS to process until the body scan is clear.

  • This phase will happen at the end of a session when the target has and hasn’t been fully processed out. If the target has been processed fully, we will review the takeaways and learnings. If the target is no fully processed, we will use your sensory items or internal resources that you learned in phase 2. The goal is for you to leave a session feeling anchored.

  • Phase 8 happens at the beginning of the following session. Whether or not you fully processed a memory in the previous session, your therapist will ask you about anything that came up or anything you noticed in between sessions and you will check in with the theme of your previous processing session to check the disturbance level and any new/different perspectives.

*The 8 phases of EMDR are not linear. This means you will sometimes go back to previous phases during the EMDR process. This is especially true for developmental or attachment trauma or CPTSD. The EMDR Process for developmental trauma is often slow moving and requires ongoing Phase 2 - stabilization and resource development. Our attuned EMDR therapists will be learning about your nervous system alongside you and will make adjustments to the process as needed.

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