What is a regulated nervous system?
As therapists who value somatic integration, we love that people are more familiar with nervous system states, being “regulated,” and are taking genuine interest in their holistic selves.
But we also know there is a lot out there that needs clearing up. Let’s break down regulation, what it means to be grounded, and what our nervous systems are communicating.
Our nervous systems are essential for understanding our mental health. The nervous system is a complex communication highway that coordinates everything we do. Read our full guide to understanding the nervous system here.
In short, the nervous system has the important job of receiving signs and signals that dictate how we respond to the outside world. Our mood, energy, digestion, sleep, memory, and more are all influenced by whether our nervous system is in a state of regulation or dysregulation.
What is regulation?
A regulated nervous system is one that’s balanced, flexible, and able to respond to stress or stimulation and then return to a steady state. A regulated nervous system is not the absence of feeling. Rather, it’s about experiencing emotion or sensation without getting completely overwhelmed or fully activated.
When we are regulated, we can stay curious, open, and present.
What is dysregulation?
A dysregulated nervous system is normal and it’s meant to let us know danger is imminent and we need to respond (i.e. fight, flight, freeze, fawn) → however, a dysregulated nervous system can also respond to perceived or historical threats—activating an outsized response to a present moment.
When our systems are responding to perceived or historical threats we can feel stuck in a freeze state of shut down, or an activated state of fight or flight.
When we are in a constant state of dysregulation, we are often resorting to survival mechanisms learned in childhood. The modern day fight flight, freeze, fawn look more like judgment, impulsive behavior, numbing out, overfunctioning, explosive anger, anxiety etc.
nervous systems are designed to change states.
Our nervous system is designed to be flexible and go into activation or shutdown when we need it. In an ideal experience, we would sense a threat, use a survival state to mitigate the threat, and return to regulation.
But that doesn’t always happen. Especially for trauma survivors, it might not have felt consistently safe enough to return to regulation. Our nervous system adapted and kept working harder, trying its best to keep us prepared.
A key moment in trauma therapy is recognizing that our nervous system is reacting in a way that no longer matches the threat or serves our present selves. The goal is not to only be regulated—it’s to have the resources (internal and external) we need to find our way back.
A regulated nervous system still experiences feelings.
It’s a myth that to be regulated is to only feel happy, calm, or still. Regulation is a resource for all of the feelings—big and small, “positive” and “negative.” When we are regulated, we feel and can observe the emotions without being overpowered.
This means we still have access to the information our emotions and feelings are carrying. Our emotions deliver the news, without scripting the next steps.
In IFS language, we have access to Self Energy when we are regulated, and Self Energy promotes regulation.
Grounded vs. regulated: What is the difference?
Grounded and regulated have come to mean the same thing on social media, and they do share qualities, but they are not identical.
Being grounded is about feeling present and anchored into current reality. This might look like having an argument with a coworker that feels familiar to how your sibling used to speak to you—but remembering you are now an adult and it’s not personal. Regulation is taking a deep breath before continuing the conversation, so you can slow your mind and body down to communicate clearly, rather than combatively.
Even through being grounded and regulated, you notice feelings of anger, frustration, impatience, or a desire to be defensive, but without the feelings deciding your actions.
Being grounded supports regulation, and regulation supports being grounded.
It’s ok to not always feel regulated.
Our systems were not designed for that. We are designed to shift from state-to-state, and being dysregulated does not mean something is wrong with you. It just means your system is trying to adapt to something that feels threatening.
IFS-informed EMDR therapy is designed to increase our regulation window, as well as strengthen internal and external resources that promote regulation. Honoring why we had to adapt in the first place starts to build trust and safety within ourselves.
More Reading:
Why We Use IFS-Informed EMDR: A Gentler, Deeper Path to Healing
Why EMDR Intensives Work Best Alongside Ongoing Therapy
About the Author: Katy Levine, LCSW, is a trauma therapist licensed in Washington, D.C., Maryland, Virginia, and Pennsylvania. She focuses on supporting women with complex trauma history, attachment wounding, anxiety, and perfectionism, using IFS-informed EMDR. Katy sees ongoing clients virtually and offers single-day virtual intensives. She offers multi-day intensives in-person to established clients outside of Philadelphia, PA.
Disclaimer: The information in this blog is provided for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health care nor a recommendation or endorsement for any particular treatment plan, organization, provider, professional service, or product. The information may change without notice. No claims, promises, or guarantees are made about the completeness, accuracy, currency, content or quality of information linked. You assume all responsibility and risk for any use of the information.
IFS EMDR Therapy Group is an outpatient therapy group founded by Morgan Levine. We specialize in IFS-Informed EMDR to help adults struggling with the effects of living in dysfunctional systems move toward healing and wholeness. Our therapists work virtually with clients living throughout Maryland, Washington D.C., Virginia, Pennsylvania, Colorado and Florida. Morgan sees clients in-person outside of Philadelphia, PA, for multi-day intensives. Morgan Levine also provides consultation to therapists worldwide.
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