As we approach the holiday season, the topic of boundaries takes on an even greater significance. While boundaries are essential throughout the year, they become particularly crucial during the holidays, a time when expectations, stress, and social interactions can put them to the test. Building on our previous discussion of boundaries and limits, let's explore how we can maintain our mental well-being during the holiday season.

The Holiday Season: A Test of Boundaries

The holidays are a time of joy, connection, and celebration. However, they can also be a time of stress, family dynamics, and overwhelming social commitments. The pressure to be present, attend gatherings (potentially with challenging people), and meet others' expectations can strain our boundaries and lead to emotional exhaustion. It's essential to approach the holiday season with an idea of your internal and external boundaries.

External Boundaries During the Holidays

External boundaries take on a significant role during the holidays. This is the season of social gatherings, family reunions, and festive events. We will focus here on managing external boundaries around how you'll allocate your time and energy.

1. **Setting Priorities:** Decide which events and people are most important to you and align with your values. Prioritize those that matter most and politely decline invitations to those you feel obligated to attend. Decide which self-care activities you usually do that you want to maintain during this season and which are optional. For instance, which recovery meetings or fitness classes you’ll go to or absolutely meditating every day but being flexible with your hobbies.

2. **Saying "No" with Kindness:** Politely but firmly communicate your boundaries to others. Let them know that you may not be able to attend every gathering or take on additional responsibilities during this hectic time. “No” is a full sentence but when you can say “No, thank you”.

3. **Respecting Your Limits:** Recognize your capacity and limits. It's okay to take breaks when you need them, even if it means stepping away from a social event for a moment of solitude to recharge. Planning for breaks and giving yourself permission to take them can make a big difference.

Internal Boundaries During the Holidays

Internal boundaries are equally crucial during the holidays. Protecting your inner world can help you navigate the emotional rollercoaster that this season can sometimes bring.

1. **Self-Care:** Prioritize self-care routines that help you stay grounded. This might include mindfulness exercises, meditation, journalling, recovery meetings, therapy, or engaging in activities that bring you joy.

2. **Mental Boundaries:** Be mindful of people who have opinions and how those opinions can impact you. Remember that you have the right to internally filter information that works for you and leave the rest. It's okay to create internal distance from those who cause you stress or express opinions that do not work for you.

3. **Emotional Boundaries:** Be mindful of your emotions and reactions to situations. Remember that you have the right to feel the way you do, and it's okay to express your feelings when necessary. If there aren’t safe people to express them to, you can plan to call or text a trusted friend or family member or journal/voice memo to yourself. Having a space to express yourself openly is essential (even if it is only a voice recording or a piece of paper).

4. **Respecting Others' Boundaries:** Just as you set boundaries, respect the boundaries of others. Not everyone may be in the mood for a lengthy conversation or to engage in certain activities. Be understanding and empathetic toward their limits too.

The Fluid Nature of Boundaries and Limits

Holidays can be an emotional rollercoaster, and understanding that boundaries and limits are not fixed but rather fluid can help you navigate these challenging times. Your capacity to engage, be present, and manage stress may vary from one day to the next. Embrace the concept of limits, allowing yourself the flexibility to adjust your boundaries as needed. 

Conclusion

The holiday season can be a magical time filled with joy, connection, and love, but it can also be stressful and overwhelming. By embracing the duality and applying the principles of boundaries and understanding the concept of limits, you can create a holiday season that aligns with your values and preserves your mental well-being. Remember that boundaries and limits are tools you can use to make this festive season a time of joy and fulfillment, without feeling obligated to conform to others' expectations or overriding your limits.

Keywords: Holiday Boundaries, Boundaries, Self-Care, Emotional Well-Being, Holiday Stress

*Disclaimer: The information in this blog is provided for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health care nor a recommendation or endorsement for any particular treatment plan, organization, provider, professional service, or product. The information may change without notice. No claims, promises, or guarantees are made about the completeness, accuracy, currency, content or quality of information linked. You assume all responsibility and risk for any use of the information.

IFS EMDR Therapy Group is an outpatient therapy group founded by Morgan Levine. We specialize in helping adults struggling with the effects of living in dysfunctional systems move toward healing and wholeness. We provide therapy to address symptoms such as anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, grief, obsessive and compulsive thoughts and behaviors including but not limited to using work, perfectionism, substances, relationships, food, etc. We offer ongoing support as well as EMDR intensives; both of which are informed by IFS, EMDR, DBT, CBT, Polyvagal Theory, trauma-informed yoga, attachment, and other recovery principles. Our therapists work virtually with clients living throughout Maryland, Washington D.C., Virginia, Pennsylvania, Georgia, and Florida.  Morgan Levine also provides trauma-informed consultation to therapists worldwide. Connect with us through our website at https://ifsemdrtherapy.com/contact-us.